Selasa, 01 September 2009

10 Tips for true fulfillment

posted by Icka at 11:50 AM links to this post

Sabtu, 20 Juni 2009

Love Unconditionally

I have learned about the importance of letting go. In other words not trying to change themselves or the object of their affections in the name of love. Somebody has taught me to love more unconditionally, mean:

"When we're young, we just want what we want when it comes to love. We don't always think about how a specific person is going to fit into our lives or what they might want for themselves. People tend to envision the future as they want it to be and feel rejected when another person doesn't have the same vision. I've learned to let a situation be what it is and have become less attached to a particular outcome with a specific person. More than anything I want the person that I love to be happy, even if in the end that means he's happy with someone else."

Ouh!

posted by Icka at 3:33 PM links to this post

"Cool Girl"

"Cool Girl" DON'Ts:

• Cool Girls DON'T exaggerate about what's going on around them or what a man's doing, unless they're doing it as a joke or to make fun of a man in a playful way.
• Cool Girls DON'T say everything that they're feeling and experiencing. They think before they speak. (Listen up to this one -- it's HUGE.)
• Cool Girls DON'T mention bad situations, issues or problems from the past unless it's a total "must" or extremely important and they haven't been able to talk about it yet. They find the right time for them AND their man to talk. Otherwise, Cool Girls live in the present moment.
• Cool Girls DON'T try to FORCE a man to talk about his feelings. They know that it will only backfire and he'll think she's being needy and close off.
  
  

Stop playing victim to your own choices and start finding reasons to be interesting and ATTRACTIVE to him again. Your man WILL RESPOND in kind. "Cool girls" know this. Here's a few of the "cool girl"

"Cool Girl" Do's:

• Cool girls choose not to complain or talk about things for too long that are not other people's responsibility or impossible for anyone to solve, given the current situation.
• Cool girls bring funny positive thoughts and feelings to situations to create an experience that men will want to have again and again.
• Cool girls know that they don't have to control much with the situation around them for their own comfort and to get the outcomes or responses they want. They're willing to go with the flow when it comes to social things, but make assertions when they have opinions and ideas.
• Cool girls have options and things to do that keep them satisfied so they don't feel like they're left out if they're not invited to something. (And even if the don't they certainly don't complain about it or even mention it – they FIND something to do that makes them happy.)
• Cool girls prefer that a man makes up his own mind; they don't try to make a man do something she says or she can tell he doesn't want to do.
• Cool girls DO know that the way they feel and talk about themselves is how men will feel about them.

So, are YOU a "cool girl?"

posted by Icka at 3:07 PM links to this post

5 tips to grow and be inspired in life

1. Grow

Turn on our brain in different ways. Sometimes the best brain-food in this case is exercise. Take advantage of weather - go on a nature hike, break out our bicycle or tennis racquet, or enroll in an outdoor yoga class.

2. Bloom

Revamping our selves-image has to happen on the inside for any lasting results, but it certainly doesn't hurt to get a little help on the outside. Go for something that might even scare us a little. Mix it up!

3. Be colorful

Hit the salon or the makeup counter. Once we trim off those dead ends, we promise we'll feel ten times better.

4. Recharge

Making time to be alone with our thoughts in a quiet or inspiring place can help us cut through the mists and veils that cloud our vision on a regular day.

5. Flourish

If we're single, we can focus on developing friendships, as this often opens the doors to meeting other people. If we're short on time, we can combine a self-improvement activity with socializing or looking for a new romance.

With patience and passion, and remembering always to be gentle with ourselves, this spring can be transformational to the rest of our (happier!) life.

posted by Icka at 2:54 PM links to this post

Can we respect the differences?

Are we able to accept what our lover enjoys and willing to give them the space to do things that make them happy, even though we don't share the same enthusiasm? Or maybe we know we'd resent the time they spend on activities that chip away at our time together.

Be honest with ourself, because if we're not, we may be setting up the relationship to fail in the future. Stop and take notice when their interests become all-consuming or something that we fundamentally disagree with. Say their favorite hobby is hunting and we're an animal activist. Or maybe they are a vegan, and we like to fish one day, and eat it the next. Can we respect each other's passions or are we offended by them? We need to assess how important the activity is, and if our partner deems it a "must have." Decide if we can live with that for the long haul.

Tiptoe carefully around asking a loved one to forgo doing something that they enjoy. It could be a surefire way to build resentments over time. In the end, differences are a fact of life. Each coupling has to determine if those disparities are healthy or detrimental to the relationship. Only we can decide, but why not have a little fun as we get to the bottom of that answer?

posted by Icka at 2:51 PM links to this post

Minggu, 22 Maret 2009

How A Man Can Become Attracted To One Woman?

If you want to understand how a man can become attracted to one woman, and how this can happen so quickly to where a man knows that a woman can be “The One” before he ever really talks to her, then it’s time to start paying attention to what’s going on “behind the scenes” in our fast-moving subconscious minds. So along these lines, let’s look at a few of the things a man is looking for in a woman and making near instant judgments, after getting just a tiny amount of information about her.

1. Physical Health
2. Emotional Well-Being
3. Sense of Humor

Now, I want you to think about this for a second. If men can make up their minds about a woman in just a few short instants after seeing and communicating with her, then what are the things that women are doing that lead to these judgments? I’ll give you the short answers here.

1. Physical Health – You know that men are often attracted to women of a certain physical size, shape, etc., in general. But do you know exactly why this is? It’s not because these sizes and shapes “look better.” It’s because men are wired to identify signs of Fertility and Youth in women. And the good news here is that a perfect hip to waist ratio is NOT the only way to indicate to a man that you are “Youthful” and “Fertile.” Personal “energy”, attitude, body language, and fashion can all act as indirect indicators of these things as well.

2. Emotional Well-Being – It’s no secret that men like to make fun of women for being too “emotional.” And while this is in part fun, this common male habit shows the existence of something deeper – that among men there is a strong belief in the importance of an emotionally “stable” woman. Men who are interested in relationships are EXTREMELY critical of how a woman handles herself and her emotions, because to them it says everything about how a woman will be when they’re close and connected and what’s in store for him.

3. Sense of Humor – This is the most subtle determinant of how a man will see a woman. When a woman is funny, laughing, or making jokes, it’s an indication of her high level of self-esteem and social status. When a man sees a woman smiling or laughing, or when a woman is funny and playful with a man, it lets a man know on an subconscious level that she is someone he can respect. An equal. And this can make a woman VERY desirable.

posted by Icka at 2:44 PM links to this post

Sabtu, 28 Februari 2009

Severn Suzuki

Hello, I'm Severn Suzuki speaking for E.C.O. - The Environmental Children's Organisation.

We are a group of twelve and thirteen-year-olds from Canada trying to make a difference: Vanessa Suttie, Morgan Geisler, Michelle Quigg and me. We raised all the money ourselves to come six thousand miles to tell you adults you must change your ways. Coming here today, I have no hidden agenda. I am fighting for my future.

Losing my future is not like losing an election or a few points on the stock market. I am here to speak for all generations to come. I am here to speak on behalf of the starving children around the world whose cries go unheard. I am here to speak for the countless animals dying across this planet because they have nowhere left to go. We cannot afford to be not heard.

I am afraid to go out in the sun now because of the holes in the ozone. I am afraid to breathe the air because I don't know what chemicals are in it.

I used to go fishing in Vancouver with my dad until just a few years ago we found the fish full of cancers. And now we hear about animals and plants going exinct every day -- vanishing forever.

In my life, I have dreamt of seeing the great herds of wild animals, jungles and rainforests full of birds and butterfilies, but now I wonder if they will even exist for my children to see. Did you have to worry about these little things when you were my age?

All this is happening before our eyes and yet we act as if we have all the time we want and all the solutions. I'm only a child and I don't have all the solutions, but I want you to realise, neither do you!

You don't know how to fix the holes in our ozone layer.

You don't know how to bring salmon back up a dead stream.

You don't know how to bring back an animal now extinct.

And you can't bring back forests that once grew where there is now desert.

If you don't know how to fix it, please stop breaking it!

Here, you may be delegates of your governments, business people, organisers, reporters or poiticians - but really you are mothers and fathers, brothers and sister, aunts and uncles - and all of you are somebody's child.

I'm only a child yet I know we are all part of a family, five billion strong, in fact, 30 million species strong and we all share the same air, water and soil -- borders and governments will never change that.

I'm only a child yet I know we are all in this together and should act as one single world towards one single goal. In my anger, I am not blind, and in my fear, I am not afraid to tell the world how I feel.

In my country, we make so much waste, we buy and throw away, buy and throw away, and yet northern countries will not share with the needy. Even when we have more than enough, we are afraid to lose some of our wealth, afraid to share.

In Canada, we live the privileged life, with plenty of food, water and shelter -- we have watches, bicycles, computers and television sets.

Two days ago here in Brazil, we were shocked when we spent some time with some children living on the streets. And this is what one child told us: "I wish I was rich and if I were, I would give all the street children food, clothes, medicine, shelter and love and affection."

If a child on the street who has nothing, is willing to share, why are we who have everyting still so greedy?

I can't stop thinking that these children are my age, that it makes a tremendous difference where you are born, that I could be one of those children living in the Favellas of Rio; I could be a child starving in Somalia; a victim of war in the Middle East or a beggar in India.

I'm only a child yet I know if all the money spent on war was spent on ending poverty and finding environmental answers, what a wonderful place this earth would be!

At school, even in kindergarten, you teach us to behave in the world. You teach us: not to fight with others, to work things out, to respect others, to clean up our mess, not to hurt other creatures to share - not be greedy. Then why do you go out and do the things you tell us not to do?

Do not forget why you're attending these conferences, who you're doing this for -- we are your own children. You are deciding what kind of world we will grow up in. Parents should be able to comfort their children by saying "everyting's going to be alright" , "we're doing the best we can" and "it's not the end of the world".

But I don't think you can say that to us anymore. Are we even on your list of priorities? My father always says "You are what you do, not what you say."

Well, what you do makes me cry at night. You grown ups say you love us. I challenge you, please make your actions reflect your words.

Thank you for listening.

posted by Icka at 2:05 PM links to this post

Be a Better Mind Reader

Assalamu'alaikum wr. wb

We come home a bit late from work and our sweetheart doesn't say one word. Instantly, our mind churns out possibilities - did I say something wrong this morning? Did something happen at work? So, we toss out oh-so-casual questions and while listening to the answers we're scanning for clues: posture, tone of voice, fleeting expressions, the mood reflecting in the eyes. We're mind-reading.

We do it with our lovers, our mothers, our friends, co-workers and neighbors. It's how we decide who's trustworthy, who's fun and who's a jerk. From the beginning of civilization, tribal living and group dynamics were essential for survival, so it's not surprising that we all have a facility for mind-reading. What's interesting is how bad we are at it.

A psychological study where subjects had to identify the mood, emotions and attitudes of another person resulted in an average accuracy rate of 30%. The University of Texas studies on empathetic accuracy found that few people did better than 30% and that even the best subjects were only 60% accurate. This means we're terrible at reading other people. However, a few simple actions can help our mind-read more accurately:

Never assume
Statistics show that after the first year of marriage, couples feel they've grown apart. Why? They stop paying close attention to each other and start making assumptions. Being misread by someone close to us creates distance. Instead, strive to give our love the same absorbed curiosity we had when we both fell in love. Our ability to read them accurately will magically rebound.

Make time
The best way to get to learn to read someone is to spend time with them. Once we've seen someone under pressure in a meeting, driving in rush hour traffic or at home with the family we'll have enough information to be able to better judge their emotional state.

Change focus
Often when we zero in on someone, it's because there's something at stake for us. Our needs lower our ability to perceive the other person accurately. To set our concerns aside, take ten deep breaths and force ourself to focus on the other person, to really listen and really observe. Also, try to "mirror" their posture. This will subtly tune us into the underlying emotional state. It will also make the other person feel heard and they'll become more open.

Ask questions
One of the best ways to increase empathy is to ask questions. Pose simple questions like, "We sound really low today, is that right?" This will help you read that person and to check our accuracy.

Express ourself
Decide to deliberately be more expressive - it's contagious! Most people will become more emotive in response. With more emotion on the surface, it's easier to know what's on someone's mind.

posted by Icka at 1:55 PM links to this post

GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

posted by Icka at 1:44 PM links to this post

Our Lifes is perfect (A look at what really matters)

Even in the darkest hours, blessings are abound… There is perfection in everyone's life.

Perfection reflection
It is only when we take the time to look over our lives that we can truly see how some things came to be. Through reflection, most of us will find that we have a lot to be thankful for, and begin to understand how perfect our life really is. Try looking in these eight places first:

1. We. We should always be #1 on our list. The mere fact that we have survived this long is a testament to our own personal perfection. Life is fragile and uncertain, so every day that we are here - be grateful!

2. Our health. Okay, we may not be in perfect condition by scientific standards, but if we are getting through the days, we are doing something right - and creating the opportunity for improvement. How perfect is that?

3. Love. Whether or not we have someone special is secondary to the fact that you are a loving person, or a person capable of giving and receiving love. Even during times of heartbreak, being able to feel so deeply is a gift. It may not always be pleasant, but you can't have great pain without knowing great joy. Be happy that you can feel, and be grateful that you can share those feelings… even if it's just with a friend.

4. Family. Family isn't limited to the humans that share our DNA. The closest of friends and most spoiled pets are family, too. Rejoice in the memories made, with all of our family, and look forward to those yet to come!

5. Friends. People often overlook how many friends they really have, and don't always fully appreciate the friends they count. Know that the mere fact that the discounted and underappreciated will still be around because you are who you are, speaks volumes. In some way, shape, or form - these people see perfection within you.

6. Loss. Most people think that a loss of any kind is an injustice, but often times, people and things are removed from our lives in order to teach us how to embrace something more. Cherish the perfection of every moment with that which brings you joy, because everything changes eventually.

7. Life. Marvel at how a world of such chaos can keep evolving. The flow of the changing seasons, the warmth of the sun, the chill of the wind. Humans and nature always seem to be at odds, and yet somehow we continue to evolve and survive. While the coexistence may not be everyone's ideal, it doesn't make it any less perfect.

8. Memories. Memories, both good and bad, should be cherished. Our ability to pull joy, strength, or understanding from an event that happened however long ago, is simply amazing. So be amazed! And realize that every memory, no matter how it makes us feel is perfect. Because all of our memoreis have led us to this place - today - which is (you guessed it!), perfect!

posted by Icka at 1:32 PM links to this post